


Death itself

by Finnlay, Nausi



Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Canon Injuries, Claws of a Killer, Fix-It, Guilt, Hunt for Wolverine, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 15:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15342585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnlay/pseuds/Finnlay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nausi/pseuds/Nausi
Summary: No one ever said that dying was any easier than living.Hunt for Wolverine: Claws of a Killer #03 Fix it





	Death itself

Felt it in my fists, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids  
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs

No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone  
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden  
No more dreaming like a boy so in love, so in love  
No more dreaming like a boy so in love, so in love  
No more dreaming like a boy so in love with the wrong world

**Florence + The Machine -** Blinding

* * *

“Fuck ...” Daken tasted the blood on his tongue and felt the burn in his chest where the blade had pierced his lungs. One side of it, left, had collapsed already and each breath felt like a chore. “Hah, I can’t believe I’m gonna fucking die here …” Again. He was going to die again. Would he come back again too? Was there a third try at life for someone like him? _I fucking hope not …_

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Sabertooth. _Dying. I’m dying. Oh thank fuck for that._ It was the last thing he heard and the last thought that came. Or so he expected it to be. It wasn’t.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Not Sabertooth. Someone else. Softer voice. Familiar. Daken blinked and it took a good moment until he started to realize that he wasn’t in that town anymore. He was … in the warehouse in Madripoor? “What the …” The words died on his tongue as his eyes settled on a person he had thought he’d never see again, “Kim.” _Must be a dream. Near death experience or some shit like that. This isn’t real._

Kim looked just as he remembered him. Not the middle aged, nearing fifty, man that Daken had met so briefly on that auction. No, he was the young, beautiful and lively man in his mid twenties that Daken had loved and treasured in ways he never had words to express. That smile, even with the edge of bitterness to it, lit up a fire inside him like nothing else ever had.

“Yes, it is Kim.” The voice was soft yes, but also insistant. A loud clap separated the sentences, “Look at me Akihiro.”

“It’s Daken.” Sitting up slowly he touched his chest and there was blood but no pain. Nothing hurt anymore. Not his body and not his soul either. It was peaceful. “I’m dead, aren’t I? And you’re dead too. So is this like … the afterlife?”

“You are not dead, and you know I hate using that name.” Kim squatted down and gave Daken a very impatient look. 

“I feel pretty dead. That sword went through my chest, punctured my lung and I’d been bleeding internally for at least the past thirty minutes. Pretty sure I have bite marks everywhere that are infected and a concussion too.” Daken arched a brow, “If I’m not dead, then I will be very soon.”

“It is good to see that you are as stubborn as ever _Méiguī._ ” It was clear that Kim was more than a little annoyed. 

“It’s good to see you are as annoyed by it as always.” Daken smirked but it faded quickly, replaced by a bitter expression, “If this isn’t afterlife then what is it? A hallucination?”

“You are always concerned with details that do not matter. Why does it matter what this is? What I am? You must get on your feet and keep moving. That is what matters, the continuation.” Kim reached out and put a hand on Daken’s chest, a look of deep concern on his features. 

“Why?” Daken cocked his head, one hand settling above Kim’s, it was warm and the skin felt soft. Hands fit for someone who had never seen combat. Kim had always been intelligence and not force. “Why would I do that? Why bother? Figured I’d go out fighting some superhero squad and not freaking zombies but hey, whatever. Dead is dead.”

“Your story is not finished _Méiguī._ So few get the chance that you now have. The ability to choose life is in your hands.” His right hand moved even as the left remained where it was sandwiched between Daken’s chest and palm. Kim stroked Daken’s cheek and smiled, “It is not your time. Chose life, if for no other reason than to spit in the eye of your enemies.”

Leaning into the touch he closed his eyes and breathed out heavily, “Maybe it’s not … but you can’t ask me to chose life. There’s nothing there for me to go back to. Why the hell would I want to?”

What point did he have to return? All that waited for him was an empty bed inside an empty apartment in his empty life. The only points of light were his two sisters and they would be fine. He knew they would mourn for a bit but they were strong and stubborn. And better off without him.

“You are such a beautiful, selfish asshole.” Kim leaned forward and kissed the center of Daken’s forehead. “You are loved, you have a family, you are finally free. Is this all the further you want to go? You want to say you had less than a decade’s worth of years in you once you were a free man? You are ready to give up and prove the monster right?”

“Am I though? Am I free? It doesn't feel that way. Still not sure that bastard is dead. And now Logan's back, fucker killed me last time I saw him.”

“And you still loved him enough to chase down his remains which lead to my death.” Kim put his left knee down on the ground, settling himself in a kneeling position over the top of Daken. Their foreheads touched and he sighed, “Now is the time _Méiguī_. You are not what any of them believe you to be. You are your own creature and now is the time to prove all of them wrong. What chance have you at revenge if you die here, the snack of mindless, pointless, zombies?”

“I want to stay.” His arms went around Kim's waist and he breathed him in. It felt real. It felt right. “I want to stay with you.” He wanted to stay where it was peaceful and quiet. He wanted to stay in these arms that felt safe and warm around him. This was where he could find peace and oh he longed for it.

Kim’s right knee touched down and his arms went around Daken’s neck. “ _Méiguī_ , I want to keep you, but we made our choices. Your path leads on, and I go with you in spirit.”

“Not enough. Never enough.” Holding on tight he closed his eyes and chuckled, “I haven’t found someone like you again. I don't think I ever will. You were … you were _it_ , Kim.”

“You won’t, I am one of a kind.” Kim’s lips moved over Daken’s face with affection and longing. A reverence for a passion that was lost. “You’ve found someone else. Love grows in the most unlikely of places, and in my heart I want nothing but your happiness. That was all I ever wanted for you Hiro.”

“I - what? No, there's no one …” Blue eyes, a stupid grin and too much potential for one person to handle. _No, no way. Stop that brain!_ Not Drake. Not him. That fool was barely out of his diapers. Too young, too innocent, too hopeful for someone like him. For someone so tainted.

“Denial is a specialty of yours. I approve of him, or of what he could be to you. There is no telling if it will work out.” Kim smiled and sighed, “And if you die here, you will never know.”

“He’s a _boy_ , I’d break him.” Daken chuckled and shook his head, “No way, that’s not going to happen.”

“How do boys become men?” Kim stood up and held out his hands to Daken. 

“Scary large bastards force them to?” Daken sighed, stared at the hands for a moment and then took them with a bitter huff, “You better be waiting for me when I bite it for real. Don’t care how or when. I want you to be the one to greet me with a smile.”

“If it is in my power I will move the heavens and the oceans to make it so.” There was a wistfulness on Kim’s features as they looked each other in the eyes, “I am always with you _Méiguī_.”

His hands reached up, and cupped that beautiful face in them as he leaned in and kissed Kim, soft and slow. It felt like coming home and like leaving at the same time. Daken could feel the tug on his soul, he was coming back around. Still, he did not want to leave without saying something that a younger, more broken and scared him had never dared to voice, “I loved you. I still love you. I know I never said it when I should’ve but … I hope you knew.”

“I always knew. I was too proud in my youth. If I had believed you loved me less it wouldn’t have hurt me so deeply when you accepted our seperation. I might have argued.” Kim smiled and there was as much warmth in it as there was sorrow. “I love you.”

“Damn you for making me go back.” A last brush of lips against skin and then he was jolted back into reality. The first thing he saw was Creed leaning over him and wasn’t that ironic? Last time Creed had been the one who caused his death. “Fuck off Toothless.” Shoving at Creed he struggled to his feet, “Ain’t fucking dead yet, not planning on being dead anytime soon either.”


End file.
